Wake Me When This Nightmare Ends

We made it. It was any day and Seth would be born. We couldn’t wait we got everything ready. His bed, his car seat, his clothes, and we got him a new bathtub.. We couldn’t wait to meet him and love on him. I never thought something could happen to a little baby that cant do anything. He was just a baby. The big day had came. Everything was ready and so was he. We went to the hospital. Got into the room. Waited for the nurse. And then the unthinkable happened. The worst nightmare anyone could have… They couldn’t hear anything there was NO heart beat. Silence, Nothing, like I was just in a deep sleep. Wait! All I could think was hold on this isn’t happening right now.. Seth is fine nothing is going on. The ultra sound tech came in and then it was the worst thing possible. The quite tech, showing us that there wasn’t a heart beat, that his blood flow wasn’t red and blue like it should have been, and the I’m sorry but Seth has passed away. Those are things I could never make leave my mind. The hurt I get from replaying that over and over.. Make it stop. Please just make it STOP! Someone pinch me! Shake me till I wake. This can't be happening. The first of the week he was fine everything was going great. But now it's sunday. Seth where did you go? What happened to you? Why weren't you breathing anymore? I knew he could answer but why was all of this happening? Someone please give me the answer!