Teddy bear

Today we got these Teddy bears that were made out of my grandma (the one that passed away from cancer) clothes. They are the cutest things ever they were made. It's like having a little piece of my grandma right by my heart at all times. I mean these are made out of her clothes. How could I not feel the closeness from having it. Every time I hug it I think about it as hugging my grandma tight. My grandma was such a caring and loving grandma. Yes sometimes she would get on to me about little things but now looking back maybe I shouldn't have done the things I did. I know when she was laying on her death bed that it was hard for me to think back to how much a of pain in the butt I was. Maybe I should have done it this why or not done it at all. But i feel like she forgave everything I had ever said or done. Almost missed my chance if I wouldn't have been at hospice every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Then maybe I wouldn't have had my chance maybe I would have lost giving her that last kiss that last hug. I don't know what my feelings would have been with out that. One thing I will never forget is she was such a neat freak. Caleb's bear had a little bit of a stain on it. Oh if grandma Kathy was here she would get after him for staining her shirt. I love thinking back on little things like that. I can't believe how long it's been since she took her last breathe I still remember that day as it was yesterday. I can't believe how much as happened since then. One thing that bring my family a little comfort right now is that Seth is up there with his grandma Kathy. So he isn't only. I bet she is just loving on him, kissing on him. I must say I'm a little jealous of her right now. Just like I would be if she and Seth were still here. I never was one who liked to share new baby's in our family. Oh how I miss them both ever so much. I can't wait for the day I can walk into those gates and hug them both so much.