Really

Our life never stops. After Seth passed away we have had two birthdays and one in two weeks. There is things that have to be done in our house. The cleaning, the shopping, the LAUNDRY (and trust me there is tons of it), and the cooking. I feel that right now I kinda feel like I'm kinda like the mother hen of our house. Washing the dishes is one of the things I hate doing but I have todo things to help my mom out otherwise I'm worried that she will get down in a deep hole and not be able to get out. I try and try but the hate of having to do things will never stop. I feel like if I don't do things either going somewhere or doing the things above about the house work then I'll find myself not getting out of bed and doing what I should be doing. Yesterday we found out that my great uncle who I know nothing about passed away and now we have to go to a funeral on Saturday let me remind you my little brother died only close to 4 weeks ago and now we have to go to another funeral. I don't know if I can or if I even want to. It's to soon to have to go to something like that. And we also got a baby shower invite (Um hello we just lost a baby I don't think we want to go to you happy little baby shower!) I feel like our life isn't slowing down as much as it is going faster. Only a few more weeks and I will have all of my brothers and my sister home. I hate not spending these 7 hours with me. Even more so now. They are the only ones that can bring me a little comfort. Maybe now I can just do a little more around the house to get my mind off of all the stupid things that happened yesterday and think that in 2 hours I will get to love on my sibling. (: happy thoughts.