Yesterday I went to see the lucky on with our nanny Sarah. it was a really good movie but I really would have felt better just laying in my bed. Well afterword we went to meet mom at the mall to eat and look at pandora jewelry. Well pandora was not a fun place to be. When we got there the lady was just trying to get us to look at things we didn't want. And then she saw my necklace. And said "oh I have my footprints" okay that's nice and awkward. And then she said her daughter had something made for herself when their dog died!!!' okay lady that's a freaking dog. I lost my brother hate to say it but I think a baby brother is way more heartbreaking to lose then a stupid dog you had for plus so many years. Okay yes I know she didn't know that the necklace I was wearing was my little brothers footprints. But don't start talking about your dog when we really don't care.
Then later when me and mom were driving home. We were talking about all the hate and anger I have inside me. I have never wanted to scream so much. Really I wish I could yell from the top of the tallest tower. I want this anger to stop. I feel that I hate everyone that has a baby or is having a baby. I should be holding Seth not somebody elses baby. My own baby brother. I just wish that day had gone different. That Seth was going to still be born alive that a great miracle would have happened. But nothing changed. Seth was gone. Seth was dead. I just wish that I could still have Seth here with me. He would be one month. One whole month and now I don't even get to be with him.
No comments:
Post a Comment