Spirit of god

I have been sitting in my room for the past hour with my headphones in trying to clear somethings out of my head.

It has become my anthem. I feel like ever since I have started doing worship band that I have more of a relationship with god. That I can lock myself in my room and just cry out to him when I am in need of him by my side. 

And trust me I need him more now then ever. There has been a few very heavy things going on in my family that has taken a toll on me and put into a lot of worry, hate, anger, and sadness.

Hopefully god can show me that every thing is going to be okay. That he is there by my side through the best of days and the worst of days.

Spirit of god won't you fall down like rain awaken our hearts I'm running to YOU! That's the part that is sticking to me the most right now.

Let your rain fall, Let your wind blow, Let your Spirit come down, Come down! This is my prayer for god to come through to me and let me know he is there. As someone i have looked up has said. He is my "Daddy" he is there for me when I am in need. When I am calling out to him. Screaming for his love to cover me.

All I can do is sit here with this prayer, this anthem blasting in my ears till I can fell my "daddy" there giving me a big hug holding me through my troubles, my hurt, my pain, and my tears.

I hope this post wasn't weird to most because this is what is coming from my heart. It's what I am singing out to my god and I know some like to keep their and gods time private I would rather share it. Let others feel what I feel.

Then .vs. Now

So I know I haven't been writing much lately but here's what happened. We went on vacation Kansas where I got to hang out with my grandma and cousin. I also got a new phone it's a DROID razor I love it so much. My mom had her birthday but not telling how old haha. Now were getting ready to go back to Kansas so I can spend time with my grandma and my dad who I missed a lot.

I made it on our youth worship team which is really cool because now I get to sing every other Wednesday. Lydia got glasses. I'm waiting on my now. I really want to get extensions so I've been talking to someone who I'm friends with who is going to help me make them. They are so dang expensive.

I know I have been away lately but I've been super busy I went to Kentucky for nationals and made excellent in my small group. I am very proud of the 2 girls that did it with me Heather and Brandi. The kids started school Ben is in third grade Lydia is in first grade and Adam is in kindergarten. Adam is having a hard time going to school but he's working through it.

Last week and this week just go to grants farm the kids really enjoyed it last week it was with our nanny this week it was with mom, our neighbor Pam and her grandson Landon. I feel like I'm back to my old ways because I've been watching One Tree Hill a lot lately. But now I'm on the fourth season. I started my GED last week the preparation for the GED test itself is not very fun. Right now I am only doing 1 subject at a time it is a lot of work. I can't wait to start cosmetology school next year.

I put my Twitter on my phone I haven't been on there in 2 months wow. Friday was a fun day we had to go to have red lobster for dinner and then went bowling. The bowling was really fun the kids enjoyed it. I can't I'm kind of rambling so maybe I should let the post go and write again whenever I have time. I hope this kind of catches you up to speed of what we've been doing well I haven't been writing. I'll just leave you with a cute picture of Caleb petting the goats at grants farm!