Meeting A Baby After Seth

Sunday I made plans with our children's pastor wife to meet her new baby boy Emery. He was born 18 days ago now. I think it has been taking a pull at my moms heart knowing that she doesn't have Seth because we had plans for Emery and Seth were going to be best friends from the beginning.

 

I was a little worried about meeting him for the first time not knowing how it would go for me. I didn't want to start crying. I was so looking forward to hold a LIVE baby. Because I don't know how many of you know but I held Seth a lot even though he was already gone. So I needed to hold a warm baby, a moving baby, and a crying baby. 

 

When I first got in there I just couldn't wait to get my hands on him. And I think Stacey knew that i wanted to hold him more then anything. We were over there (Me and my friends Brandi) for two hours just talking. We talked about if they were getting sleep, if Emery was hitting any milestones (which at the time he hadn't done much, But that night his umbilical cord came off) they said he was starting to hold his head up but then he would just drop it.

 

Then we started to talk about Seth a little not that much, We talked about where moms room was compared to Stacey's room. But later I was hanging out with Brandi and Stacey was just talking to me about Seth and my feelings toward it, And how my mom was doing, Why we hadn't been to church that much since it happened. I really think it helps me to talk to people about Seth. But more like mom's then my friends because they don't know what the pain is like. Not saying that I know what it is like to lose a son, but I feel that some people just try to compare a loss of a brother/sister son/daughter to the loss of a grandparent. Don't get me wrong because I have lived through both it hurts losing a grandparent but it's not the same kind of pain. It hurts a little bit more.

 

I don't know if I have written about this before but old people they die, Babies they aren't supposed to die. Not when they just start to live.

 

-Each day seems to be getting a little better-- Keep reading. :)