Song Lyrics!

This is a song that has been playing in my head all night. The first time I heard it it was on The O.C our nanny I now know every word to the show.



Running Up That Hill

It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?
You be running up that hill
You and me be running up that hill

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh...

You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.
There is thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?

You, be running up that hill
You and me, be running up that hill
You and me won't be unhappy.

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building,
If I only could, oh...

'C'mon, baby, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let me steal this moment from you now.
C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let's exchange the experience, oh...'

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems [x2]

'If I only could, be running up that hill.' [x7]


-Okay not the best post ever but tomorrow's will be better :-)

Lydia Did Great

On Friday she had an eye exam that had to be done to check for glaucoma. That was such a early morning, I have up and ready by 5 meaning a had to get up at 4:30. Must say we left a little late because Lydia had to be there at 6:15 and we were parking a 6:15 yeah that just shows that you're going to be late.

 

When we got there everything was getting done real quick. She got signed in and then taken to her room. room 21 to be exact. The rooms at same day surgery are very weird they are glass sliding doors. She had a nurse come in, then the nurse to talk to us about her being asleep, then the guy that would put her to sleep, add about 3 more people to him, and then the eye doctor they were all in the room at once. Small room with about 10 people in it. Yeah I thought I was going to scream.

 

Lydia was a pro in the room she knew what was going to happen and when it was going to happen. She knew that they had toys and she wanted them, she knew that she would have to take medicine, and then she knew about the mask she would have on her mouth she help her go (Nightie Night).

 

They told us they would be taking her back to get ready at 7:30 so we gave her hugs and kisses and she gave them to us. If you don't know Lydia like really really know Lydia then you are  missing out on an angel she can smile and make you're heart melt. She is the sweetest little girl ever.

 

They took her back.

 

We waited and waited. We went out trying to get a snack and a drink but the snack area was still locked. Because let me remind you this was really early morning. So we went back to the room and waited. I told mom she should go check because I didn't want to walk back out there like a loser. Yay it was opened we were hungry we hadn't eaten anything. So when we went in there we just wanted something it didn't matter what it was. Doughnuts that's what we ate. Yummy.

 

Then we went back to waiting. They told us that it shouldn't take to long but it felt like forever. We were hungry again but then the eye doctor came in and told us that there wasn't any signs right now of glaucoma. That doesn't mean she won't ever have it. Most likely she will have it in her lifetime. But when she does they will have a eye surgery to try to remove it. EW!

 

We then got the phone call saying she was in recovery so we went back to the area that she was in. Curtain 7. She threw up sometime from the time we got the phone call to the time we got in there. That was a little hard because the nurse in there was like don't touch her. Um lady she is our daughter/sister we will touch her if we want to. Then she was moved back into room 21 she didn't wake up till after two hours after the medicine stopped. She likes to sleep.

 

She would start to wake up then she would go right back to sleep. Then we found that the movie HOP was on and that's Lydia's favorite movie. She couldn't open her eyes because they hurt pretty bad. From what the doctor had told us they were moving her eyes. Ouch! We started to put the remote by her head. The remote was the sound. Hospitals are just weird like that. She was so funny she just lay there listening to it trying to open her eyes the nurse came in and gave her sunglasses she felt bad for her. Lydia then go to rock some awesome flower sunglasses.

 

Not long after that our nurse I really wish I remembered her name. Took out Lydia's IV and was getting us ready to leave. I got Lydia back into her clothes, Well the first time in her clothes when we left with her in her nightgown it was just to early to get dressed. Then it was time to go.

 

We decided to meet Sarah to eat because she had Adam and Caleb. So we got to go to Red Robin (YUM) Lydia was singing that on our way to eat.

 

-Yeah so that's it for Lydia's eye exam everything went great 

Meeting A Baby After Seth

Sunday I made plans with our children's pastor wife to meet her new baby boy Emery. He was born 18 days ago now. I think it has been taking a pull at my moms heart knowing that she doesn't have Seth because we had plans for Emery and Seth were going to be best friends from the beginning.

 

I was a little worried about meeting him for the first time not knowing how it would go for me. I didn't want to start crying. I was so looking forward to hold a LIVE baby. Because I don't know how many of you know but I held Seth a lot even though he was already gone. So I needed to hold a warm baby, a moving baby, and a crying baby. 

 

When I first got in there I just couldn't wait to get my hands on him. And I think Stacey knew that i wanted to hold him more then anything. We were over there (Me and my friends Brandi) for two hours just talking. We talked about if they were getting sleep, if Emery was hitting any milestones (which at the time he hadn't done much, But that night his umbilical cord came off) they said he was starting to hold his head up but then he would just drop it.

 

Then we started to talk about Seth a little not that much, We talked about where moms room was compared to Stacey's room. But later I was hanging out with Brandi and Stacey was just talking to me about Seth and my feelings toward it, And how my mom was doing, Why we hadn't been to church that much since it happened. I really think it helps me to talk to people about Seth. But more like mom's then my friends because they don't know what the pain is like. Not saying that I know what it is like to lose a son, but I feel that some people just try to compare a loss of a brother/sister son/daughter to the loss of a grandparent. Don't get me wrong because I have lived through both it hurts losing a grandparent but it's not the same kind of pain. It hurts a little bit more.

 

I don't know if I have written about this before but old people they die, Babies they aren't supposed to die. Not when they just start to live.

 

-Each day seems to be getting a little better-- Keep reading. :)

Short Post

I love getting on here and seeing that I have had people view my page. Even though I am not sure that I have that many people reading my blog it's still fun to believe it. I know what a loser.

I have so much to say yet not enough. One thing is I never know what to write about I have to kind of go into my own world to even think about some of the things I have written about. I hope my posts aren't to boring. I try my hardest to make them not make you want to fall over and go to sleep. I have to be careful about what I write because I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.

So I have started to share this more with people I know, Meaning I think half of you don't even know me... Awkward... But I like writing so much that I sort of don't even care.

I feel like this post is not a very fun post to read because I don't have all that much to say. But I hope to have a new page about things I want to do before I have kids. The life task I want to complete before. So you should keep an eye open for this page, I hope to make it really cool.


-Well this is short but--Keep on reading I promise it will get better :)

Nanny Sarah

So we have the most amazing nanny in the world. I hope that after she has taken such good care of me that one day I can be like her and have kids saying I was their favorite babysitter.

So it all started when Sarah started watching us when Lydia was a little baby. So long ago now. Yet still seems like yesterday.

Her mom was friends with our friends and sold Avon. One day (okay many one days) My mom would go and buy things from her mom. Until one day she started to come to our house and sells things to us. One day Sarah was with her and she just got her license I mean just got it like that day. And she just fell in love with all of us. Okay I take that back she fell in love with Ben and Lydia she thought I talked to much.

Sometime after we first met her she started babysitting us. She would take us to MacDonald’s and to the park a lot because Lydia had to go the doctor all the time. I was to young to stay home by myself so I got to be babysat.

Not going to lie (Sarah if you are reading this just skip it) Some days she wasn't may favorite person but that was only sometimes. I loved her then and I still love her to this day. Otherwise all around best babysitter in the world.

She has been with us since Lydia was little and when mom was pregnant with Adam. That’s a very long time 5 years hint: that’s why we call her nanny. She was so wanting to be there when Adam was born but Lydia got her sick so she couldn't be there.

I just want to point out that Adam is her favorite and always will be.... I don't see what she sees in him but okay.. Just kidding I love him too just not as much as her no one can love him as much as her. :)

Adam and Sarah almost had the same birthday just by a day and then they both would have had a birthday on the 10th but he is my mother child and we all don't like the share birthdays. I missed my Uncle’s by a day just a day. That's a whole other story....

We all love Sarah so much. She was there when Caleb was born I mean she was right out in the waiting room and stayed past hours just to hold him and love on him. Then she just couldn't wait for Seth... I love how she found out. I hope you find it funny...

We were at olive garden eating after a movie ( Sarah takes me out she is now more like a big sister then a nanny.) and she jokingly says so is Caleb going to be the baby.... I thought oh no what do I do so I hide my face and try to play it cool well that didn't work because then she said Natalie. Oh great I was busted I couldn't hide behind my lie. So then I told her yes mom was going to have another baby. Even though we had already knew for a long time that she was pregnant we just hadn't told to many people about it.

I told mom when we got back to the house that she found out. I told mom I got busted. Then we started talking about a new baby you could tell Sarah would love this baby so much.

Then she had to go through every nanny's worse nightmare because we are all kind of like her kids (Well not me to much) When She found out that Seth was gone you could tell she was not going to be okay with losing one of her (Children) She got to go up to the hospital and hold him and love on his limp body. At moments like this you didn't really think that he was already gone you just took them in.

She so badly just wanted to hold him and know that he was real. And just that she did. I don't see her ever forgetting that moment when she first got to hold him and now that he was real that he did live for the 9 months and that he wasn't just as dream.

Last Tuesday she graduated college and now is going to be a teacher. We are all so proud of what she has done with her life. And hope she know that she is a very special person in our family.

-Keep Reading (:--- We love you Sarah

Benji

Ben OH! wow Ben how do I start talking about him. Well Ben is such a trouble boy. I love him oh so much but then he just drives me crazy sometimes. I can't believe that my baby is so old. He is 8 and I remember 9 years ago that my mom was pregnant with him.

When I was younger I really wanted a brother/sister. I couldn't wait to have a little siblings being the only child you don't know whats going to get you when you wish that. I wanted a (let me say it again A) Brother/sister and I ended up with five. Not one, Not two I got to have five.

I remember the Christmas that my mom told me. She was telling me with a barbie. At the time I thought it was that my mommy just loved me so much she wanted to by me something new. Little did I know it was to tell me about a new sibling.

I couldn't wait. August wasn't getting here quick enough. I am sure I was there when we found out he was going to be a boy but give me a break I have had so many other chances to find if I was getting brothers or sisters that I forget.

Sad to say I don't remember everything. I wish I could remember more. Maybe I should ask my mom to try and write down all the memories that she has and see if I remember them. I would have never thought the first sibling I got was going to be a boy. (Not going to lie I was very hopeful for a sister who doesn't wish for a sister for their first sibling.)

I feel like I am talking about random things ha-ha.

When the time came for Ben to be born our (Aunt) Velma (Okay she isn't our real aunt but she has been friends with us since I was 1 I think its far to call her an family member.) She came when it was time for to be born. It wasn't planned but it was fun to have such a family friend there to welcome a new baby.

That was the first time I was in the delivery room when my mom had a baby. I was as far back against the wall that I could have been. Funny. I loved having a little baby in our house.

To tell the truth when Ben was really new I was walking with him and I maybe, sorta, kinda dropped him off the bed. But don't worry I fell before he did so I saved his fall. YAY for the new big sister! Oh but my dad freaked this was his first born (My Step dad) and to top it off his first SON. You can't break his son.

Not long after Ben was a little older then my Grandma, Aunt and Cousin came and stayed with us. Once again I can't remember much because that was 9 years ago.

Yeah so thats the short very short part 1 of Ben's story.

-Keep looking for part 2

Lydia Goes To The Hospital

So Lydia went to the eye doctor on Monday. One of her many doctors as I have talked about in Lydibug. Her eye the black part. It doesn't look like yours or mine. It looks like it kinda grew. Now with her having *NF feel free to look about it on google. Now let me remind you some of the things you may read sound way wrose then what Lydia has. So don't go thinking that she is at risk for anything as bad as they have said it to be.

My Sweet Lydia

Lydia is going to the hospital today. She is going to get a eye exam done but she will be put to sleep (I hate that word sounds like I am talking about putting my dog to sleep) They are checking for seeing if she has glaucoma. So I will be with my mom while they do this eye exam on her eyes. They are going to measure her eye and see if it signs of her *NF taking over her eye. There can be anything that it could mean. And really it could be nothing as serious as were making it sound, Yes it will most likely be something just not sure about what it is.

I would like to point out that I am posting this on Friday so as right now I am not at the hospital but I know I will not have the time to write this out real early Friday morning. As I said in the Twitter post I will be sitting at the hospital keeping an update, Now I want to make this clear she is not having SURGERY DONE It's just an eye exam that she will be sleeping while she is getting it done. That's the one thing that I am worried about. I know she has had two surgerys before and been put to sleep but after what we have went through these last couple weeks I have a right to worry about my little princess..

-Keep Lydia is your prayers today--- Check my Twitter!!

My Twitter

So I have been messing with social network trying to find the best place to have people know what my life as a Big Sister is, The sadness of losing a brother, The happiness of watching my siblings grow.

I invite you to follow me on twitter, while you still read my blog. I will post about the feelings I have throughout the day and even the Sweet, Funny, and Totally super cute things the kids do. Over the summer I hope to have the time to keep up on my blog but if you see no post for some time then look up my twitter.

I hope that this will help you to know what and how my life is like. I know this seems like such a short post but I don't know that much to say about twitter.

-Thanks for reading-- Keep it up!

Prom Part 2

Prom was so much fun I never thought i would ever get a chance to go to a prom since I am homschooled but it was so much fun. I will try my hardest to tell you everything but I might miss a few things.


So on Thursday I went to my friends house to get ready. My friends wanted me to do there hair so I had brought all my hair things. Even this new hair thing that curls hair without it taking forever. I must say I was a little worried that I wasn't going to have enough time to do everyone hair. I did mine and then we went and did other things. Had me worried a little bit.

Then I got to doing hair, Fastest I have ever done hair. I was talking, spraying, curling, talking, spraying, spraying, and spraying. We killed all the living things while doing it. I used so much hair spray on their hair that the room spelled like hairspray forever.

After we got done doing hair we got ready so we could go out and take pictures. We waited for my friends mom and dad to get there so we could go take pictures. We went to this park called "Bee Tree" it was a really pretty park. But I must say it had some very weird smells. We thought maybe somebody had died with all the strange smells.


We then later went to prom. When we first got there we were all to ourselves me and my friends Emily. Then it was time for dinner, it was, Pasta, Rolls, Potato's, And Chicken/Beef. ( I am not a fan of Beef. YUCK! ) The food was really good. I liked it. Then after dinner we got to dance.


Emily and I, we didn't dance at first we kinda stood there like two silly girls that were scared to dance. But then after that I started to dance. Once I started to dance there was no stopping me. It was really fun. They played all the songs that I liked. The slow ones were the best because we didn't have boys to dance with so we would dance with each other. I think it was really fun that we danced as a group.


Then this one boy danced with us OH! that was so funny because all of us HOMESCHOOLERS weren't sure what to think about it. But it was funny to talk about once we got in the car or even when we got home.


I wasn't planning on staying the night but I did. All of my friends were watching Titanic but I fell asleep. They were upstairs eating and I was down stairs sleeping. I mean I had a very long night. I danced all night long and then I needed my sleep.


That's all that really happened but it was A BLAST!!!! I can't wait until they have another dance I am so going to be there.

Lydibug

So, I don't think I ever really coverd anything about Lydia. So when my mom was pregnant one of the test came back with it saying something was wrong so mom had to go to A specle doctor to check Lydia. At the time we didn't want to/know that Lydia was  a GIRL!

 

After mom had gone to do this test I almost sure that it didn't show what they were thinking it would. But one thing I remember was that if mom made any move that was to fast we would have lost lydia. My mom then decided she didn't want to ever do that test again.

 

When Lydia was born she look prefect. But then we thought her foot looked a little funny to us. We weren't sure what it was that didn't look right but we knew it was something. We asked the doctor and the doctor said he thought maybe it was just because she was in moms tummy and maybe it was just pressed up on something. Nothing was said after that. We left the hospital thinking that everything was going to be fine.

 

Then at her four week check -up the doctor thought he heard something that wasn't right with her heart. So then he sent us to a heart doctor. Come to find out Lydia had a heart defect. A heart mermer was found. That was the first of many doctors that she would have in her lifetime.

 

After we went through all of that we still wanted to know what was wrong with her foot. We had not brought it up since when we were at the hospital. Then our doctor looked at her foot and brought in two other doctor's came in the room jsut looking at her foot. No one knew what it was..

 

She was sent to a doctor that she doesn't go to anymore but she told us that Lydia had this one thng... Well I never learned how to spell this word. I just remember that she wouldn't live long with it. We had accpted it.. But then we found out she did not have that. She has something called NF (Neurofibromatosis) We never use that big word we always say just NF. Lydia ended up going a few more doctors.

 

They put her into this thing called First-steps. She had a person for eating (because she would only eat a few things and they wanted her to eat more) Which turned into a real promblem because then her speach would not be how it should be. Then she had a physical therapist because to add to everything else she would not walk, sit, or hold her head up. Thats a big thing for the fact she was 18mo and not doing what she should have been doing.

 

Later she was put into a school for kids wish speacle needs, as much as I hate that word that is what she has. She had a teacher MRS. Nita. We loved her she was our favorite teacher for Lydia durning preschool. she graduted from preschool and then started kindergraten.

 

All last year she has been at school wich is helpful but i worry about her. What people do at school, What all the kids think of her, and are people mean and do they push her down. I worry about how school is going to get as she gets older. Highschool are people going to be mean to her? I mean she is a little behind in her Learning of Physical Needs.

 

I know this is a lot to read but I am trying to write a Blog post about each of my siblings. More then just Seth even though he is the one who is on my mind most times. So maybe it will help writing about the siblings I have here leaving on earth.